Shadow Angel
by lovsummergirl94
Summary: He was the one that was there for her when she needed him. But sometimes, he would leave her and she'd be in a pit of despair. Watch as their love grows fonder, secrets come out, and danger strikes at them in every corner. E/B


**Hi everybody, oh my goodness I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I have not updated at all in…forever. I've been caught up in a lot of things as my life has changed so dramatically in the past year or so. It's kind of private all of the things that have happened but I'm back now and, instead of continuing old stories probably long forgotten, I've decided to start something new. As things are happening in my life and school is slowly eating me alive, I might not be able to update frequently but I assure you that I will not just stop this story. So, for your reading pleasure, I give you my first chapter! Thank you all for staying with me and putting me on and alert and everything. I really appreciate the support! Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 1**

**BELLA POV**

"Mmmm, I love you too." The crooked smile stretched across his face as he kissed me once, twice…and again. Happiness surged through me as I felt that feeling of belonging in his arms. Somehow, he completed me. He was everything for me and my body felt complete in his arms. It was as though we were two pieces to the same puzzle.

"Love, I have to go, now. I promise to come back." Horror struck me at his words because I could not breathe without him. I gripped onto him harder and harder, wishing it was enough to hold him here with me, but it wasn't and it never would be.

"Edward, don't leave me!" My arms locked around his neck in a vice grip that would have choked any human, but for my Edward it was nothing. A melancholy smile broke across his face as he kissed my forehead and vanished. The last thing I heard was a quiet whisper from him, telling me that he'll come back as soon as he could.

It was always like this. He would only come visit me for an hour or two at a time. I knew it was dangerous for him but I wish he could stay longer with me, stay with me and never ever have to leave. He was my everything and I couldn't just let him go every time, it always felt like a permanent goodbye. I knew that one day he would have to leave me for good, but I wanted as much time as I could with him till then. Sacrifices are all I have to make in this life and it's not fair! First, I lost my childhood and now I would lose him. It wasn't fair!

A quiet knock came on the door and I heard them calling my name. My guardians were calling me to come downstairs. I didn't know these people and, so, I would not accept them. The government had caught me at last and found out that I was a 17 year old girl without any adult watching over me. Even though it was only a couple months till my 18th birthday, they forced me into a foster home. This wasn't what I wanted at all. Luckily, Edward had made sure to come visit me as often as possible. But that only meant he could come once or twice a week and only one or two hours at a time. I would never get any time with my Edward and these foreign people thought they were my parents.

"Isabella, darling, please come down to eat dinner. You haven't eaten all day." My name is _Bella_, I silently shouted in my mind. Mrs. Wethermerry was my current guardian and she would never accept my name as 'Bella' but she liked to call me 'Isabella'. Her and her husband liked to think of themselves as my parents, but they could never be my parents. They would never replace my real parents in my heart.

"I'll come down in just a moment." Although, I didn't want to stay here or be with them, I could never act cruelly to them. It just didn't feel right to treat them awfully when they did provide me with food and shelter. They may never be my parents but they were willing to take care of me when the government so claimed I needed taking care of. If only Edward could show himself, then the government would know I already had an angel protecting me.

He doesn't like me calling him my angel but that's what he is to me. His flawless, pale skin and shiny, bronze hair and golden eyes couldn't make him any less of an angel. Slowly, I combed through my flat, brown hair and regarded my chocolate-brown eyes in the mirror. I was nothing compared to Edward. I trudged to the door and went downstairs. There they were, sitting there waiting for me. I was adopted into a whole family of other foster children.

First and foremost, there was Mr. and Mrs. Wethermerry. Then came Alana, Lara, Katy, Drew, Ron, and Michael. None of us looked anything alike and it was always easy to spot that we were a foster family. Everybody else tried to fit in among each other and I was always the…odd one out. The black swan, they called me behind my back. It was a play on my name, because my name is Bella Swan. It's not as though they're cruel sisters and brothers, that's not it at all. We all try to be civil with each other but I never seem to fit in. My whole entire life, I never fit in. The family sat down to eat dinner, some plain rice with chicken curry, and everybody chatted with each other except for me. I quietly ate my dinner, not really talking or looking at anyone. My whole body was yearning for the next time I could see Edward.

"Bella, are you okay?" Michael looked at me with kind eyes and I gave him a small smile but still said nothing. However, his question to me seemed to spark everyone's interest and the whole table quieted down to look at me. I looked up to see them all staring at me in an odd way, but they weren't looking at my face, they were looking at my neck. I looked down to see the black spot covering my pulse point at my neck, where Edward always kisses me.

I quickly got up and ran from the room. This always happened to me at odd times. A black spot would form on my neck and it would appear to spread, like a parasite, all across my skin. This had been happening to me ever since I was placed in my first foster home. I was taken to countless doctors but none of them could say what was wrong with me. The black spot never harmed me, but it never did me any good either. It was just there. Many of my foster parents worried for me, they thought I had some sort of rare disease but that wasn't the case. I couldn't really explain the black spot either but I wanted it there. For some reason, the black spot made me complete. I always feel like if I didn't have the black spot, Edward could never come back.

In my room, I sat in front of the mirror staring at the black spot. It looked like some sort of ink had been thrown on my neck. It was never in any sort of proper shape, it looked like a blotchy splattering of black ink. Cautiously, I touched the black spot with my finger and it burned. I never told anybody this happened but when I touched it with my finger, it would burn. However, this time the pain was too much. I took pleasure in the pain, but not this time. I felt as though a white hot flame was slicing through my neck. I tried to remove my finger from the spot but it wouldn't budge.

"Bella!" A horrified gasp came from my window and I saw Edward's terrified face reflected in my mirror. He rushed toward me at lightning speed and removed my finger from my neck as though it was no effort at all. I wondered why he had come back so soon, he never did this. But the white hot flame feeling had drained me from any strength and I got up only to be caught by Edward and sleep overtook my body.

When I woke, a feeling of vertigo hit me like a tidal wave and I could barely keep my eyes open. Edward was lying next to me on my bed and I smiled up at him in a daze. He smiled in response but it wasn't the same, there was genuine worry in his eyes.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Whisperingly, he sighed.

"Bella, do you remember what happened before you fell asleep?" It hurt my brain to think about it, but I put great effort into trying to remember what had happened but I couldn't. My memory of what passed had vanished as though sleep had stolen it from me. Trying to think of it harder only made my head hurt that much more; until Edward's soothing cold touch shocked me back into the present. 

"Don't strain yourself, love. Do you remember or not?"

"No, I can't. I keep trying to remember but something happened, I can't. What happened?" Edward chuckled gently, but there was still worry in his eyes.

"Love, you tripped over your own two feet and bopped your head on the bedpost. Luckily, I came back just in time." At this, he lightly pecked my head, where the pain came from the most. It was ridiculous to think that my clumsy-ness could have caused me this much harm but with me, it was almost impossible to ever know what would happen next. I was always falling over things and hurting myself; sometimes I would find a bruise on my body and it would turn out that I had bumped into something and some point. I was too used to getting hurt all the time.

Suddenly, Edward's words dawned on me and I realized that he had come back. He was here only a couple hours ago but now he was back! Wait, he was here at night, which must mean it is morning, I wasted a whole day! What happened to the rest of the family? Did they worry? Almost as though he could read my mind, Edward responded.

"No, they came to check in on you in the morning but found that you were asleep and they didn't want to disturb you. I think they think the black—I mean, you hitting your head caused great stress on you so they wanted you to sleep it off. Don't worry about it; they're all out of the house now. They went out somewhere, but left you here because you were sleeping."

"Oh, I see but Edward why did you come back? You've never come back on the same day before…" His response was quick, almost as though he knew I would ask this question and had an answer prepared.

"I missed you too much, it's getting harder for me to leave you, love." I couldn't just deny that response because it gave me that happy, bubbly feeling inside but it seemed…rehearsed. Edward did mean the words but not in this context, it was different. However, I couldn't just doubt him like that so there was nothing for me to say but,

"Well then why do you leave me?" I supported my head on my elbows, mirroring his position and stared at him curiously. Pain cut across his features as he tried to formulate a suitable response.

"Bella, you know I can't tell you some things…It's hard for me." Again, pain cut across his features as if he wished he could tell me but he couldn't.

"Why can't you tell me? Edward, it's not as though this is some big secret that could kill me if I knew…"

"Bella, people of this day and age can be very cruel, you don't know. I'm sorry; I can't tell you, love." Anger and disappoint filled me and I turned away from him. He tried to coax me into looking at him, but I couldn't bring myself to. It wasn't fair that he wouldn't tell me what was going on. I had a right to know why he had to leave me all the time, didn't I?

"Edward, you say you love me, but how do I know you're not going to go see some other girl? How do I know that I'm the only one you think of? What if you stop liking me one day and you never come back? It just, it doesn't seem like you love me as much as I love you…It seems like you can leave so much easier than I could if I were you…" He looked at me seriously and, slightly, in…anger.

"Isabella, do you feel insecure about my love for you?" Hardness filled his golden eyes as he looked at me seriously. I felt chagrined and looked down at my lap, toying with my fingers as I responded.

"Well, I mean it's not like that, really. It's just, Edward it seems too easy for you to just pick up and leave me. If I were you, I could never do that. And then, you always come back like it was nothing…I'm in like serious pain when you're gone, I can barely breathe. It just doesn't seem like you feel the same way as I do. I love you so much and I don't think I'd be able to live if one day, if one day…you never came back…" A small tear slipped down my cheek and he was quick in wiping it away. The anger in his eyes from before turned into anguish, as though he was in serious pain from my confession.

"Don't you ever think like that again, Bella. I love you too much and I'll never, ever leave you so long as I exist. Why do you doubt me? Don't you see that I _am _in pain when I have to leave you? It's not as though I want to, Bella. It's not a choice for me, love, I have to leave. It's my…my, well my duty."

"What duty? Why do you have to leave your girlfriend all the time if you say you love her? I mean, the least you could do it tell me why you have to leave…And then, when you do come back, it's only for like an hour or two at a time! I barely get any time with you, Edward. It's not fair for me if you just string me along like a puppet. I can't deal with this anymore!" A frustrated groan ripped out of me as the hot tears streaked down my cheek. This time, he didn't try to wipe them away. He only gazed at me with pain in his eyes.

"Are you saying that you want me to leave…forever?" My eyes popped as though I had been shocked and I leaped into his arms.

"NO! Edward, I love you, I don't want you to leave me, ever." I continued holding him in my vice grip and buried my head in his neck as I let the tears fall. He cradled me in his lap, but it was very comforting. He was too tense, too stressed.

I don't know for how long we sat in that position, with him trying to comfort me, but after a while I pulled back to look at him.

"Ugh, I must look horrendous right now." I tried to scrape up some of my dignity by wiping my face and trying to comb my hair with my hands. Edward's cold hands stopped me and he said,

"No, love, you look beautiful, like always." A blush tinged my cheeks as I looked away from him. He smiled in response, as always. Then he continued to talk, this time in a quiet whisper as though he didn't want the house to hear his secrets.

"Bella, do you really feel so anguished when I leave you?" I nodded solemnly and wrapped my arms around his neck again.

"Love, you don't know how much I wish I could tell you everything. I don't want to leave you and I don't choose to, but I have to. I, ugh, I wish I could tell you. I love you so much, _il mio cantante_." He slowly kissed me forehead and, as always, he had no answers for me.

"Edward, I'm sorr—

"No, don't apologize! I know you wish to know more, Bella, and I wish I could tell you. But there are…rules holding me back. Just please, never doubt my love for you. As long as you live, my whole existence belongs to you." My heart swelled up at his confession and I tried to lighten the tense atmosphere with my haphazard joking.

"Well that's quite a heavy thing for me to carry, what if I lose it?" I laughed and he did too in response to me. He rolled his eyes and leaned down to capture my lips in his. Then, he looked me seriously in the eyes and said,

"I love you." To that, I didn't even respond and only kissed him back. This was where I wanted to be my entire life. This is what made me complete, what made me whole.

The downstairs door slammed open, waking us from our paradise and I realized that the entire day had been wasted. Quickly, I pulled away from him and rushed to change my clothes and brush my teeth and comb my hair.

"I'll be right back, don't you dare leave." I wagged my finger at him, as though he was my obedient puppy. He rolled his eyes again at me and did the Boy Scout salute.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ugh, you know how I feel when you call me that." I stuck my tongue out at him because he very well knew that when he called me that, I felt like an old lady. Ignoring him, I rushed downstairs to see my family coming inside with huge amounts of shopping bags and groceries.

"Hey, Bella! I'm glad you're feeling better! You look a lot healthier!" Alana came in and hugged me lightly as she proceeded to carry some of the bags into the kitchen. Then, as everyone else shuffled in, I was greeted by lots of hugs and happy sentiments. It appears, I must have looked like a dead person while I was sleeping. Drew joked he was glad that I wasn't dead. Although, these people weren't my family, they sure were nice to me. I guess, my feelings from yesterday were so unsound. I shouldn't harbor hate for these people because they were so nice to me.

So I helped them put all the bags away and pack all the groceries in the kitchen. We all chatted mindlessly in the meantime and they asked me how I felt and if my head was better or not. I smiled in response and asked them how their day went. It was a very normal conversation for me…All I could really think about was Edward waiting for me upstairs.

After all of that, I went to grab a snack because I was really hungry. I realized that I actually hadn't eaten in about 24 hours and quickly inhaled as many food items as I could. Then, I went to go take a shower because I felt so icky after everything and when I reached my room, I pushed the door open in anticipation of seeing my Edward. However, he wasn't in the room and sadness washed over me.

I walked into my cluttered room with the baby pink walls and white desk filled with random papers. I passed my bookshelf brimming with books from Jane Austen to Joseph Delaney and then I walked passed the mirror-closet until I reached my iron post bed. The sheets were white and had rose patterns on them; the bed had been made perfectly. A note was left at the top, written in perfect calligraphy. Edward was the only one that could have done this. I picked up the note and it read:

Come outside, love, I have a surprise for you. And remember to carry my "heavy" heart with you, it's yours and it will always be yours.

A huge smile gripped my face as I rushed out onto the balcony from my open window. When I reached outside, I saw a string of beautiful, twinkling lights shimmering. Edward was standing among them with his arms wide open, waiting for me. Of course, without delay, I rushed into his open arms and felt whole again.

"Were the theatrics this necessary?" I asked him as he kissed me.

"Of course, only the best for my Bella." I smiled at his response and let myself fall into the perfect moment. This was where I wanted to be and where I would always want to be.

We sat in each other's embrace for I don't know how long but the air turned cold very quickly and Edward rushed to get me a blanket. We gazed up at the stars; well I gazed up at the stars while Edward continued to stare at me.

"What are you looking at? I hope you know the stars are up there, not over here." I pointed at my face mockingly. He chuckled amusingly and shook his head at me.

"The stars may be up there but you are right here." He dotted my nose as one would do for a child and smiled. I rolled my eyes at his silliness. He pursed his lips and responded,

"You know the stars are up there and will always be up there, but there are only some moments where you are right here, Bella." At that, he pulled me closer into him and hugged me tightly. I couldn't help but smile at his response but for some reason, it sounded like a goodbye. As though, I could never be in his arms like I am at the moment.

"Edward—

"Shh, just relax and enjoy the moment, Bella." There it was again, the feeling that this was not going to last forever.

Suddenly, our bliss was ruined as he looked alarmed.

"Love, I—I—I have to go. _Now_." There was urgency in his tone. He gently took me off of him and placed me on the chair.

"Edward, wait!" But it was too late. He kissed my forehead and vanished into thin air. I sat alone in the night.

That's been my biggest fear all along, I guess: the fear of being alone. Now, I find myself without friends, without family, and without…him. He's what fills the void in my heart; he's what makes my life worth living. Ever since I was a child I had issues with being alone and without anybody. It all started when my family passed away. A stupid car accident wouldn't seem like that much but it was enough to take away everybody that cared and loved me. That's how they died, my parents. Teenagers really should learn to not drink and drive.

I was the only survivor in that horrific accident and it was through some fluke. I shouldn't have survived; I should be dead just like they are. After the accident was the first time I saw my angel, he had been standing underneath the shadows nearby. At the time, I couldn't make out his face but, somehow, I knew he was responsible for my survival. Logically, a three year old could not have survived two cars slamming into each other, both going over 90 miles per hour unless there was some sort of miracle. Nobody could have lived through that without a miracle. Nonetheless, the police found my rolled up into a little ball somewhere in a bush, perfectly unharmed. They questioned me a million times over what happened, how I came out unscathed, whether I had any other family left. I didn't have any answers for them and they didn't have answers for me about that shadow angel.

Now, I guess I realize it was Edward, it was him all along. He was the shadow angel that had saved me but at what cost did he rescue me all my life? He was gone now and I was the only one left. Shadow angels aren't supposed to save people, they're not supposed to fall in love with mortals, they're not supposed to let themselves be seen. But he broke all the rules for me, but at what cost?

I stood in the middle of a stark white room, all alone. Alone again, like I had been my whole life without Edward. The door creaked open and I spun around to see the men with the needles. A gut feeling of terror wrenched through me and I knew I had to get away from these people but there was nowhere for me to go, nowhere that was safe for me. I couldn't control it and I let out a scream, but it was too late. They got me. The man plunged the long, sharp needle into the side of my head and the last thing I saw was darkness.

**I know it's confusing but more to come later. Tell me what you think! :) **


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